The 4th Annual Very Bad


December 12, 2009


Pout, shout, knock yourself out, and you might want to run and hide. You certainly want to lock up your daughters and hope your wives aren't with us, because the very bad Santas are cumming all over town. (Well, at least all over the Quarter.)

A few things that we can suggest that will make this a lot more fun for you. First, the weather makes it sound like we are going to have a wintery wonderland. That doesn't mean that you should abandon your skimpy outfit - it just means to put a layer or two over it that you can peel off in the bars. Bring things to add to the festivities - jello shots, candies, little sex toys, condoms, jingle bells or santa hats that you can share with other Santas or give away.

There is no charge for this Santa Crawl. Pay as you go at the bars. We will pass the hat early in the evening to help cover some of what we are providing and if you feel like throwing in a buck or five, we thank you. (Any extra will be donated to local food kitchens to make sure everybody has a good meal this Christmas.)

In case you can't make it for the very start, here is a schedule - certainly more of a guideline than a hard and fast time plan, but it should help you catch up. We urge you to join us at the start. There will be some jello shots, and buttons and other goodies that we know won't last past the first stop or two - for the rest of you, lumps of coal..

You can come in a Santa suit. You can come as an elf. You can come as a Ho Ho Ho. You can come in your red lingerie. But you do need to come!

Well here is what you've all been waiting for - the absolutey, positively and without a doubt, subject to change crawl schedule:

5 pm Washington Square
5:20 La Maison de la Musique (old Ray's Boom Boom)
6:20 Turtle Bay (1119 Decatur St)
          and Mollys on Decatur
7:30 Crescent City Brewhouse
8:20 Coyote Uglies Saloon
9:30 Carousel Bar - Hotel Monteleone
10:30 Very Bad Carolling along Bourbon St.
11:00 Lafittes Blacksmith Shop
12:00 Frenchmen Street

 This is kind of like New Orleans weather and can change at any moment - make sure to check back on the schedule right up to the day of the crawl. If you get lost, start your own crawl.

Want to see what you might be missing - check out the Santa Crawl pics

A note from Santa to the "ladies": Santa doesn't think that Naughty and Nice have to be alternatives. Santa thinks naughty women are delightful, so don't hold back for Santa's sake. Santa wants to see wild women in the Quarter this year.

You don’t have to get a drink at each stop. We encourage you to pace yourself and have a good time. We also encourage you to bring X rated gifts, to only wear underwear if it’s red, and to practice your Naughty Carols. Bystanders are not innocent, no matter what they try to get you to believe.

 

Ho! Ho? Who you callin’ a Ho?

 

Santas saving New Orleans, one drink at a time! Please remember: Don’t screw with the cops. Don’t screw with the kids. And if asked who is in charge, tell ‘em Santa is.

 

For more info, email Santa de la Playa or call (504)450-4402